Marriage counselors see big jump in clients

The number of couples and individuals who seek professional help after encountering a marriage crisis has been rising, making marriage guidance and counseling more in demand than ever.

Xiaolu Qinggan, or Deer Relationship, a smartphone application established three years ago to provide help with relationship issues, has more than 10 million registered users.

"Revenue from the app was around 200 million yuan ($31 million) last year," said Wu Jiamin, founder of Beijing educational consultation company Mei Dongli, or Charm and Motivation, which operates the app.

Shu Xin, director of the Weiqing Group, a Shanghai-based agency that provides marriage counseling in over 40 cities, said they have seen the number of new cases reach some 200 per day, up from 10 in 2001, when the agency was created.

At least 130 such agencies have been set up offline and online, and more than 20,000 counselors are working in the field, according to industry insiders. More than 100 of them participated in a meeting in Shanghai on Monday to share experiences.

They said most people turn for help when their marriage is on the verge of splitting up. Shi Xiuxiong, founder of the Good Catch Love Counseling Workshop in Shanghai, said most clients are between 30 and 35, well educated and high earners.

China's divorce rate has been on the rise for 14 consecutive years, since 2003. The latest figures from the Ministry of Civil Affairs show that 4.16 million couples divorced in 2016.

Extramarital affairs, differences in personality and problems with parents-in-law are the most frequently encountered difficulties in marriage, counselors said.

Having an affair is becoming easier as transportation and communication tools improve, said Shu, adding that more than 80 percent of clients sought help after discovering that they had a cheating spouse.

Marriage guidance usually involves three to 10 sessions, each lasting one to two hours. Counselors said they prefer a couple attend together so they can see how they communicate with each other, figure out problems and fix them.

"But we don't assume staying together is always better than breaking up. We search for the best way for both members of a couple," Shi said.

Some agencies, such as Weiqing, also provide services to help clients, wives in most cases, separate their unfaithful spouse from a paramour. It charges 200,000 yuan or more for a successful case.

Chen Yiyun, a marriage researcher at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, suggested marriage education before people tie the knot.

"Marriage is never as easy as going to the marriage registration office with your ID documents. Men and women should be educated on how to become capable husbands and wives as well as parents before they enter this serious relationship," Chen said.

"A husband or wife is a significant role that people have even longer than their jobs. But most people learn skills for the role from their parents, who may not be good models in marriage," she said.