Dying with dignity, living with love

Xu also learned aromatherapy to massage concentrated plant-based oils onto patients' skin to help them relax and sleep.

Another important thing volunteers must learn is to express their care and love through eye contact and body language. For example, caregivers should look at patients with warm and determined eyes, and should hug people in a way that will let them feel secure and warm.

By studying, reading and practicing, Xu gradually mastered related knowledge and skills. She learned how to provide individualized care for patients to enable them to spend their final days in decency and comfort. In the end, peaceful deaths console both the dead and the living.

Xu recalls that a middle-aged patient whose mother kept asking nurses to change his bed sheets.

"She was very rude. Later, we learned that her son used to be a very clean person but hadn't been able to bathe for months after falling ill because his skin hurt. The mother felt like changing the bedsheets was all she could do for him," she recalls.

So, Xu and another volunteer offered to give him aromatherapy. To persuade his mother, they first tried it on one leg.

They applied essential oils on his limb, and massaged it very carefully and gently. The dead skin came off without hurting him. The mother burst into tears and became friendly toward them from then on. The three later performed aromatherapy on his whole body together.

"Every patient is my teacher," Xu says.

"At the palliative care unit, I learned to respect every life that will soon pass on. They inspired me to think about the value and meaning of life, and to reflect on my own."