'Model husband' shatters image of love

[Photo/icpress]

According to Xu Li, vice-president of the dating network True Love Online, marital problems are a direct result of unrealistic attitudes and unwillingness to work to save a failing relationship. "Nowadays, people are too idealistic about marriage. If they find that it's not as perfect as they'd like it to be, they are tempted to end it as quickly as possible."

With the increasing social pressure, he said, more people emphasize quality of life, and have higher expectations of marriage. "This is not to say that people are treating marriage lightly; on the contrary, newlyweds pay more attention to the quality of their marriage life nowadays," he said.

When Xu's company conducted a survey about attitudes toward infidelity, the results showed that 80 percent of women would opt for a divorce if they discovered that their partner had been unfaithful. The remaining 20 percent said they would try to keep the marriage going because of economic pressures, their children or psychological dependence. However, when men were asked the same question, 99 percent immediately chose divorce.

Wang Jun, manager of the Beijing Weiqing Marriage Consultancy, said that although cheating undoubtedly plays a part in the breakdown of a marriage, the impact of an accumulation of problems in people's daily lives should not be underestimated.

"People have always considered marriage to be a guarantee of loyalty, so instead of spending time with their spouse, they place greater emphasis on work and other factors," she said. "Neglecting a partner's needs can lead to a vicious circle and result in a lack of communication. In the most extreme cases, people become paranoid about their spouses and worry that they will have an affair. When distrust enters a previously harmonious relationship, the effect can be devastating."

"Family problems are the fundamental causes of many other social problems. This not only affects the lives, work and families of those who divorce, but can also affect their children's concept of love and life," she added.