Like with the "Smooth Criminal" suit, a black halter top embellished with two large silver keys hanging from the bodice strap, and a large chain lock dangling from the super-skimpy bottoms. Those are going to leave weird lines for sure. Or how about the "Stairway to Heaven," with its bodice top, complete with a riots of open-weave side lace and actual shoelaces going up the belly to the bodice line. The "Bed of Roses" suit, a triangle top embellished with rose appliqués shouldn't be too problematic, but wearing the tiny bottoms, made with a piece of lace, then a gap of skin, and then the rest of the suit below, will inevitably create a stripe of lighter skin just above the pubic bone.

Variations on that suit, like the "Livin' on a Prayer" model, with a metal cross placed at the same spot, or the "Cover Girl" with a bow there, present the same difficulty. Other designs were more sun-friendly, but dangerous for swimming ? the "Lyin' Eyes" zebra one-piece is a halter with no back ties, for example. Perhaps that's why that style was shown with black patent dominatrix boots; maybe it is for inside sunning only?

Also included in the show that was disproportionately populated with men in the audience that packed into the tiny Lightbox Stage was an assortment of cover-ups: filmy, lacy robes or tiny rompers that again looked like bedroom wear, high-end lingerie rather than beach wear.

The big Beach Bunny winner for any woman who actually likes to swim while wearing a bathing suit was Chittenden's "Secret Garden," a colorful and pretty design pairing pink flowers with turquoise stems, used as interchangeable pieces on an underwire bra top, a tie-side bikini bottom, a triangle top, a little skirt, and a baby doll bubble dress. Otherwise, Beach Bunny's Spring 2008 line seems full of suits made for posing and looking fabulous, but definitely not for getting wet.