Related thread: Chinadaily BBS>> News Talk>> Free Talk>> Hugging for Health

There is lots of hugging in our family. I an not too macho to say that at age thirty-seven the first thing I want to do when I see my father is to hug him. (Mom too, but that seems more "normal" in our sometimes counterproductive western civilizatinon.) My daughter is now seventeen months old. One of the words she now understands is hug. If I ask her to 'Go hug your grandma,' she'll do it. More importantly to me, if I say "Come hug Daddy," she will happily do that too.

I've noticed in the past few days how completely alive i feel when she is hugging me, regardless of what is on my mind, positive or troubling, prior to the hug. Her hug changes my world. This morning before I left for a business trip my seven-year-old son got up early to say goodbye to me. The best part of this goodbye was a big hug---initiated by him. This morning I reheard, on a tape a fact about hugging. The speaker said that most people get far too few hugs each day. The research cited on this tape said that we need eight hugs a day for maintenance and twelve per day for growth.

Hugging is a way of connecting with others, of showing your genuine affection and appreciation, of valuting others, and of giving. All of these are positive, healthy, life enhancing purposes. While hugging is natural and we all know how to do it, I have put together some guidelines to help make you a better hugger.

1. Begin the hug with great eye contact. This communicates to the receiver the spirit in which the hug is being given.

2. Be present during the hug. Even if the hug is only for three seconds, devote your total energy and focus on the person you are hugging. Feel how good it feels to both give and receive.

3. When you finish the hug and are pulling away, make great eyey contact again. This further blesses the receiver, and communicates a positive feeling to them.

4. A hug is not an opportunity to burp the other person! Be gentle. This goes especially for the guys----a hug isn't the start of a wrestling match either.

5. If you are much taller than the other person, bend your knees. Make the hug comfortable and a blessing.

6. If you are hugging children, get on your knees and be at their eye level. If they are small enough, pick them up to hug them.

All of these guidelines are about making the hug a completely positive, giving experience. As in many other things in our lives, when we think about others, we can make better decisions. The same is true for hugs----hug with the huggee in mind!

Take a few minutes today to think about how often you give and receive hugs. Remind yourself how it feels to be the receiver of a really good hug----how it can improve your outlook and general emotional state. Ask yourself whose day you could improve by giving them one or more hugs today.

The above content represents the view of the author only.