The inscrutable Chinese

The Eastern mindset and negotiation styles are different culturally. One did not make eye contact since those are often dictated by social power. One often used tones and subtle expressions to convey differences or to deliberately conceal those, much the same as Western culture does, where needed. The guiding principle was to try and put forth one's reasoning, particularly if it was strong and could logically stand on its own, taking out the personalities and other 'distractions', even while giving all the signals of social deference to authority or power through body language and other gestures. Even the socially weak can put forward a strong case through reason and hope to get it across. The idea is not to try and get away with something, but let reason, fairness or equitableness win, as a first attempt. However, if that failed, then the 'other game' begins, much the same as in Western dealings, but, as much as possible, the personal feelings and issues are kept aside. This is because, everyone is aware that people can put on a show of expressions, feelings and drama and get away with things. Without the personal drama, it is possible to arrive at a more 'principle based’, fair or equitable outcome.

If the first attempt at reasoning fails, the power equation is put forward as the next step to try and convince the other to themselves come round to our point of view so that it can appear that we all came to an agreement on our own. When that too fails, it’s usually a face saving, gracious tactic of walking away to come back later, without involving people emotionally. Both parties may go back to their own camps. Note that both Western and Eastern people can be quite expressive and very much scrutable when among their own ethnicity or fellow cultural compatriots.

In negotiations or personal dealings, Easterners tend to ignore or put aside personal expressions or tones. They do better with written down principles, offers or dealings that do not require personal showmanship or acting. However, they have had to learn and use some of these since they have been dealing with others around the world. It is just that they are not as good at it as Westerners.

Now, coming to the 'inscrutability' of the Chinese or Asians, there is something many Westerners fail to realize. They often say 'I am not even sure if he/she understood what I was saying or what I meant." It is very frustrating for them since the Asian person, who perhaps until a few moments ago was 'readable' suddenly has assumed a quiet, expressionless expression that reveals no feelings one way or the other. They probably say "I will get back to you afterwards."

Here is a thought for Westerners. The Chinese or Asian can usually understand the terms of an offer or deal logically just as well as a Westerner. They are just as human, just as intelligent and will have the same feelings about it being fair or unfair or whatever. Very likely, they understood your position quite well. They probably feel they do not owe it to you to provide you with signals of acknowledgment that you will understand from your cultural conditioning. It is just that they try to save their and the Westerner's face by not reacting openly to it, right then and there, because it seems like unpleasant drama. 

My suggestion to anyone coming across an 'inscrutable face' is as follows.

First, scrutinize yourself, your own position, offer or attitude towards making fair deal, debate rather than try to pry open the other's expressions to try and read or an unfair advantage. Be assuring, even if you offered them a great deal, they may take a while to figure it out. Once they do, the next time they meet you, you will see them not being so inscrutable, but clearly showing their feelings. They will usually try to outdo you and return the favor. 

Btw, I find Westerners can be inscrutable too. It took me a long time of living in the Western culture to pick up on their being consciously inscrutable.

What do you think?

The original blog is at: http://blog.chinadaily.com.cn/blog-1175065-32373.html