Spring Festival: A marriage of mirth and misery

Cai Meng/China Daily

The lunar new year gives many young Chinese a lot to look forward to, and at least one thing to dread

It's that time of year when all over China those of a particular age wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night worrying about what is about to befall them.

Shortly they will face a patience-testing trek home crammed into trains with thousands of others just as on edge as they are, and at the end of this journey the final dose of morale-draining torture, administered orally just as they begin to unwind from their trip, will be dispensed by their loving parents: "Why are you still single?"

It's a ritual of Spring Festival that millions in their late 20s or early 30s face, and everyone handles it in their own way, even as the more positive aspects of the occasion - hugs, chatting and laughing around the meal table and the distribution of red gift envelopes - proceed as they should.

"I really can't face going home," a friend from Guangzhou tells me. "It was my father's birthday last week, and that day I called my mother. Do you know what she said? 'Your grandfather is going to have a serious talk with you.' I know exactly what he's going to say: 'You must get married.'"

She is the only one in the family's third generation who is single.

"I just don't get it," she says. "Why should they care about it? What has my being married or not got to do with them?"

This woman is in her mid 30s and has worked in Beijing for 15 years. Life is comfortable, and she owns a small, comfortable apartment in a nice area. She has had a boyfriend for nearly 10 years, and every weekend she takes a one-hour trip on the subway to see him, staying with him and his parents over the weekend, before returning home on Sunday night.