My father, his neck and the 21 housemaids

Li Feng/China Daily

Finding the right person to lend a hand around the home can be a chore and a half

Xiao Jia finally left my parents after my father decided to move into a rehabilitation center.

We called her Xiao Jia (Little Jia) instead of using her full name. The woman in her late 40s from Gansu province, followed a string of 20 other ayi, or housemaids, I had hired for my parents after my father fell and damaged cervical vertebrae, making it difficult for him to move around unaided for the past four years. When Xiao Jia left she had worked for us for little more than a month.

"She was slow, a bit dumb and lazy, with a step-mother's face," my father said after she left. My mother complained: "She never followed my instructions in doing the chores," adding that she was hard to communicate with and her cooking was dreadful.

"We tried to put up with her because we knew it's hard for you to find another one," my parents, both 84, said.

They were right, and it was also one of the main reasons my father decided to go to the rehabilitation center.

Anyone setting out to look for an ayi for their parents is embarking on a mission that can be highly stressful.

I had a contract with a housemaid agency to which I paid an annual service fee of 600 yuan ($90). Whenever I was looking for someone new the agent would refer potential candidates to me. Over the four years wages for the ayi rose from 2,500 yuan a month to 4,000 yuan a month, on top of free accommodation and food.

In that time I interviewed more than 30 rural women. Most of the 20 lasted less than four or five days and two stayed for a year, but in those two cases I had to find a replacement during the Spring Festival holiday period. During the absence of the housemaid on most public holidays and at weekends I took care of my parents.