Homer: All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare. I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger and back naked.
Bart: How naked?
Homer: Fourth base.
Bart: Girls might see my doodle.
Homer: Oh, I see. Then I hereby declare you chicken for life. Every morning, you'll wake up to ''Good morning, chicken.'' At your wedding, I'll sing…
Boy: I like men now.
Woman: Don't look where I'm pointing!
Policeman: Stop in the name of American squeamishness!
Flanders: Boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful--Penis?!
Kids: Bountiful penis. Amen.
Policeman: Listen, kid, nobody likes wearing clothes in public, but, you know, it's the law.
Policeman: Lunchtime!
Bart: You can't just leave me out here.
Policeman: Don't worry, we found a friend for you to play with.
Woman: Nelson, honey, where have you been?
Bart: Dad!
Homer: What seems to be the problem, officers?
Bart: Tell him you dared me to do it.
Policeman: If that's true, then you should betaking the rap here, not your son.
Homer: And what happens to me if it's my fault?
Policeman: You'll have to attend a one-hour parenting class.
Homer: It was all his idea! He's out of control, I tell you! I'm at my wits' end. It's so…
Policeman: See you in court, kid.
Homer: Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
Bart: Did you at least bring my clothes?
Homer: Shirt, socks, everything you need.
Bart: You didn't bring my pants.
Homer: Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
妙語佳句，活學活用
1. Fourth base
Fourth base 也就是壘球術語中的 home base （本壘），常用來比喻男女關系中進展到性關系這一步，這里面是指“全裸”。例如：I can't believe it, he got to fourth base on his first date with her! 我真不敢相信，他和她第一次約會就上床了。
這個片語的意思是“be punished or blamed for something因某事而受罰，承擔刑事責任”，例如：I don't want to take the rap for Mary, who forgot to mail the check in time. 瑪麗忘了及時郵寄支票，我可不想替她承擔這個責任。
4. At one's wit's end
這個片語也寫作at wits' end，意思是“completely puzzled and perplexed, not knowing what to do不知所措”，例如：I've tried every possible source without success, and now I'm at my wit's end. 每個可能的來源我都試了，都失敗了，現在我不知道該怎么辦了。
